SILLY FILES 1
While our contributor, BRAD GREEN, was ill recently, he used his time productively
–coming up with these lists for your amusement.
Send us your SILLY LIST
A DOZEN "DOUBLE FEATURES"
1. All the President's Men / In Bed with Madonna
2. The Year My Voice Broke / Singing in the Rain
3. A Room with a View / On the Waterfront
4. The Unbearable Lightness of Being / Dumb and Dumber
5. Fried Green Tomatoes / Breakfast at Tiffanys
6. Independence Day / Born on the Fourth of July
7. Flirting / In the Company of Men
8. The Full Monty / Flashdance
9. Clueless / Taxi Driver
10. Back to the Future / Out of the Past
11. Duck Soup / Some Like it Hot
12. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes / Naked
10 FILMS THAT THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR ... NOT!!
1. All The President's Interns, starring Monica Lewinsky.
2. Striptease 2, starring The Two Fat Ladies.
3. I Know That You Know That I Still Know What You Did the Summer Before Last, produced by
The Artist currently known as The Artist but previously known as The Artist Formerly Known
4. It's A Millenium Bug's Life, inadequately edited for its scheduled release on 1 Jan
5. Spartacus the musical, choreographed by Michael Flately and scored by Yanni.
6. Silence of the Lambs 2... "Can't 'ear ewe", starring Mike Tyson.
7. Star Trek: Generation X, produced by Aaron Spelling and starring Tori Spelling as
captain of The Enterprise 90210.
8. Grease 3, starring Ricky Martin and Ginger Spice.
9. Mary Poppins (remake), starring Fran Drescher singing
10. Carry On Saddam Hussein.
CINEMA CELEBRITY CITATIONS
PART 1: INSULTS AND INNUENDO
1. Mae West: "I've had a wonderful evening, but this isn't it."
2. Groucho Marx: "A man is only as old as the woman he feels."
3. Groucho Marx: "I never forget a face, but I'll make an exception in your
4. W.C. Fields: "I am free of all prejudice; I hate everyone equally."
5. W.C. Fields: "I had the coldest winter of my life, one summer in San
6. Mae West: "I believe that it is better to be looked over than overlooked."
7. Woody Allen: "My brain? It's my second favourite organ."
8. Peter Ustinov: "People working at the top of the tree are those without
qualifications to detain them at the bottom."
9. Stephen Fry: "The bedroom and the boardroom are just two sides of the same
10. Zsa Zsa Gabor: "I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."
Email this article
UPCOMING RELEASES FROM THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE
OF LOW BUDGET CINEMA
1. 3½ Weeks
2. A Room with a Window
3. Medium Expectations
4. 11 Dalmations
5. Doctor Donothing
6. Around the Block in One Day
7. There’s Nothing About Mary
8. Semi-lethal Weapon
10. A Fistful of Cents
See Silly Files 2
and Silly Files 3