ANIMAL, THE
SYNOPSIS:
Garage dwelling evidence clerk Marvin Mange (Rob Schneider)
dreams of being a cop like his late father - if only he could
pass the physical without wetting his pants. One day while the
entire force is out playing softball, Marvin get his chance at
heroism by thwarting a burglary, but drives his car off a cliff
on the way. He regains consciousness a changed man; stronger,
faster, with heightened senses, a voracious appetite,
uncontrollable sexual urges, and hair where there wasn't any hair.
Marvin's new-found animal instincts make sense when a mad
scientist (Michael Caton) admits he saved his life by implanting
donor animal organs. Not only do Marvin's new talents get him
onto the force and the attention of a pretty animal lover (Colleen
Haskell), they have a mob after him for mutilating a cow.
Lowbrow with a capital L, The Animal at least revels in its
minimal aspirations and delivers just about every gag you'd
expect in a film about a would-be cop made out of animal parts.
If you liked Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo you'll love watching Rob
Schneider sniff out drugs secreted in a courier's body cavity,
smooth talking a goat on heat and coughing up a furball. The
preview audience I saw this with certainly did and they yocked
even louder when Schneider let a baby vulture eat chewed up worms
out of his mouth. Champagne comedy if you appreciate the
considerable lengths Rob Schneider will go to in the pursuit of
laughs and believe me, he will do anything. To be fair, Schneider
has a kind of goofy everyman presence that generates some
sympathy for his character and makes it hard to be offended by
his schtick even while it's heavy on the gross-outs. The same
can't be said for his awful haircut - issue that man a "air-don't
ticket immediately! Schneider and Adam Sandler - whose Happy
Madison production company made this - are pleasing large crowds
with this kind of lowest common denominator entertainment and The
Animal will no doubt keep fans happy. I note that Marvin's
romantic interest is played by Colleen Haskell who was one of the
original Survivor competitors and obviously has a good agent.
She's quite sweet in the middle of all this tom-foolery and
Australia's Michael Caton, with little to do, manages to avoid
major embarrassment. I did feel sorry for Edward Asner, though.
Is playing the Police Academy inspired chief his reward for
distinguished service on screen and behind the scenes as a union
organiser? Hardly, but if he was offered points in the film he
can look forward to his cut from the many millions this will make.
Richard Kuipers
(unfavourable but undeniable)
Lacking Adam Sandler's latent anger or the snide charm of David
Spade, Rob Schneider is probably the least interesting of the 90s
cohort of Hollywood comedians who rose to fame on Saturday Night
Live. A weasely, balding guy who seems eager to please, he's not
quite unbearably obnoxious, but neither is he someone you
particularly want to watch for ninety minutes. Despite this,
someone in Hollywood obviously has faith in Schneider - his two
star vehicles to date are the cinematic equivalent of an attempt
to launch a new fast food chain. There's a level of slickness in
their scripts (Schneider's collaborator, Tom Brady, worked on The
Simpsons) but basically it's no-frills comedy - cheap, crappy and
disposable. Still, on some level a film like The Animal is
undeniably satisfying: through its naked reliance on formula, it
exposes the primal impulses at the heart of all effective comedy
(and drama). The basic story of The Animal has probably been told
and retold throughout history: an arrested adolescent loser
finally manages to prove his manhood when he yields to his
repressed animal instincts. The plot gimmick where Marvin
literally becomes part-animal is an excellent dramatic metaphor
for this: it's just a pity that the script doesn't take things
far enough, and that Schneider isn't a more inspiring physical
performer. With a premise that would have offered unlimited
opportunities for a genuine wild man like John Belushi or a
virtuoso like Jim Carrey, this scrawny nerd bobbing his head like
a penguin simply doesn't cut it. Given Schneider's lack of
charisma, you start to wonder why slapstick comedies should be so
totally focused on self-pitying heterosexual men and their
desires. As in a lot of recent gross-out films, many scenes here
get their charge by gesturing towards various unorthodox
possibilities (such as S&M, homosexuality or animal-human sex)
before hastily swerving away from the implications. While the
film supposedly endorses animal craziness and freedom, it's also
saturated in smug conservative attitudes - revealed most
blatantly in the stupid, offensive subplot about Marvin's black
sidekick (Guy Torry) and his complaints of reverse racism.
Jake Wilson
Made by and for pre-adolescent boys - or those yet to outgrow pre-adolescence
- The Animal has more grins than giggles, unless you think
marking your girlfriend's territory or sweet-talking a goat is
funny. If you do, you'll know this is another poo-joke production
from Adam Sandler's Happy Madison team (also behind Happy
Gilmore, Billy Madison, Big Daddy, Little Nicky, and Joe Dirt.
Are two-word titles all they can think up?) Sandler produced both
this and Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, so he must think highly of
Schneider, who also co-wrote this script. Such as it is. Perhaps
they watched The Island of Dr. Moreau one too many times and
thought it would make a good comedy. It is amusing, but like most
Sandler movies, it's a string of loosely connected (mostly gross-out)
gags that have no bearing on the plot; they exist just because
someone thought them funny. So we are meant to laugh when
Schneider outruns a stallion, or catches a frisbee in his mouth,
or sniffs drugs stuck up someone's butt at the airport? It's sad
when jokes involving animals are funnier than ones involving
humans. Schneider's fist-fight with an orangutan is a cack, but
then again it's been done before. The only amusing human joke is
from Marvin's friend Miles (Guy Torry), who's hung up on how
white people are nice to him just because he's black. As for
Schneider, his sweet natured imbecile routine may actually be
preferable to Sandler's obnoxious shouter, yet both actors are
destined to wilt in the shadow of Jim Carrey (who wisely knows
more than mere comedy). And far from his big Hollywood debut, The
Castle's Michael Caton makes a fool of himself here. He'll be
lucky to appear in anything but more Happy Madison movies. I'd
like to end this review with a toilet joke about where Sandler
and Schneider's careers are heading, but like their film, it
wouldn't be funny. So if you are keen, I'm forming my own mob to
march on the studio who gave this dog the green light. No thanks,
Columbia.
Shannon J. Harvey
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CRITICAL COUNT
Favourable: 0
Unfavourable: 2
Mixed: 1
SOUNDTRACK REVIEW with audio clips




ANIMAL, THE (M)
(US)
CAST: Rob Schneider, Colleen Haskell, Michael Caton, John C.
McGinley, Edward Asner
PRODUCERS: Barry Bernardi, Carr D'Angelo, Todd Garner
DIRECTOR: Luke Greenfield
SCRIPT: Tom Brady (story and screenplay), Rob Schneider (screenplay)
CINEMATOGRAPHER: Peter Lyons Collister
EDITOR: Jeff Gourson, Peck Prior
MUSIC: Teddy Castellucci
PRODUCTION DESIGN: Alan Au
RUNNING TIME: 83 minutes
AUSTRALIAN DISTRIBUTOR: Col Tristar
AUSTRALIAN RELEASE: August 2, 2001
VIDEO DISTRIBUTOR: Col TriStar Home Entertainment
VIDEO RELEASE: January 2, 2001

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